


Kiss Me and Crescendo

by bespokenboy



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: College AU, Fluff, M/M, or more specifically music school au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-02
Updated: 2015-01-02
Packaged: 2018-03-04 23:47:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3097055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bespokenboy/pseuds/bespokenboy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Legend has it that Jongdae’s always in tune, even in bed. Joonmyun's always been too shy to find out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

  
It's been the hottest week of the summer so far, and the sun is glaring angrily down at him, but Joonmyun dutifully patrols his section of the blueberry orchard, trudging along the grassy pathway. He weaves his way between bushes laden with ripe, juicy berries, stopping along the way to assist families and couples carrying plastic buckets overflowing with indigo treasure.   
  
Down at the end of the row, Joonmyun spots a slim figure alternating between tossing handfuls of berries into his bucket and into his mouth. He's wearing a simple, low cut white tshirt and a pair of black skinny jeans way too clingy for the climate. Although Joonmyun feels like a dork wearing a red tshirt that says "Have a berry nice day!" and dark blue basketball shorts, at least he's dressed for the weather.   
  
"Excuse me sir!" he calls out, approaching the figure. "I'm sorry, but we don't recommend eating so many berries straight off the bush before washing them."  
  
Joonmyun feels a hot trickle of adrenaline when the guy turns around.   
  
It's Kim Jongdae, the most brilliant and popular musician at their conservatory, who, as a  _freshman_ , won the position of concertmaster and has been concertmaster every year since.   
  
"Oh! I'm sorry," Jongdae apologizes. He's so fucking charming, and even his eyebrows are charming, that Joonmyun wants to throw himself at Jongdae's feet and beg for forgiveness.   
  
Before Joonmyun can stutter about how he's not worthy of being in Jongdae's presence, the other boy squints at him and asks, "Hey, don't I know you from somewhere?"  
  
Miraculously, Joonmyun is able to respond like a normal human being. "Y-yeah. I go to the conservatory."  
  
"Right!" Jongdae exclaims, his eyes lighting up. "What instrument do you play?"  
  
"Viola." He braces himself for a judgmental once-over, but thankfully nothing comes.   
  
"Where do you sit in the orchestra? I'm assuming you play in the symphony, right?"  
  
Swallowing the last bit of dignity he has left, Joonmyun answers, "Near the flutes."  
  
The unspoken assumption is that Jongdae knows where the flutes are located, which is right behind the last couple chairs of the viola section.   
  
"Ohhh." Jongdae's voice is carefully polite, but not disdainful. But then a mysterious glint appears in his eyes as he exclaims, "Catch!"  
  
He tosses a blueberry at Joonmyun's face, but it just bounces off his cheek.   
  
Jongdae pouts, tilting up his eyebrows and pushing his bottom lip out. "You were supposed to catch that in your mouth."  
  
Joonmyun doesn't know how to respond, since he's never been in such close proximity to Jongdae, let alone subject to one of Jongdae's impossibly potent pouts.  
  
Thankfully, Joonmyun's boss Kwanghee spares him from further embarrassing himself in front of Jongdae.  
  
"Joonmyunnie!" he calls out as he approaches. The older boy's eyebrows arch when he sees Joonmyun and Jongdae isolated at the edge of the orchard. "Your patrol shift is over, wanna take over the cash register up at the barn?"  
  
Kwanghee doesn't acknowledge the fact that Joonmyun was alone with Jongdae, for which Joonmyun is silently grateful.   
  
"Sure, hyung, thanks for letting me know." Joonmyun turns to wave goodbye to Jongdae as he makes his way towards the barn. There's a wistful look in Jongdae's eyes that he can't quite place.   
  
  
  
  
What Joonmyun likes about working at the blueberry orchard as a summer job is the slim probability of encountering anybody that he knows from school. It's a small, family-run orchard out in the middle of nowhere, surrounded only by rolling fields and bumpy dirt roads. Being the oldest son, Kwanghee had managed to convince his parents to let Joonmyun live with them and work at the orchard for the summer. They could see how important Joonmyun was to Kwanghee and figured that they could use an extra helping hand.  
  
The orchard is a refuge for Joonmyun, a way to escape the crazy rush of city life. He grew up in the city, and he goes to school now in the same city, but this summer especially he has felt the urge to get away. Living under agrarian skies is a fresh breath of air, a nice change of pace. But most importantly, it means getting away from home. Somehow, Jongdae had managed to find the modest berry orchard, but as far as running into acquaintances goes, it could be a lot worse. Joonmyun could encounter his parents.  
  
It’s only Joonmyun’s first job besides teaching lessons to little kids, but Kwanghee and his parents had been impressed by how easily Joonmyun manages to charm customers and visitors. But it’s not difficult when Joonmyun genuinely enjoys being there, and all he really has to do is smile. He’s thankful that Kwanghee and his parents are providing him with a safe haven and even put up with his hours of practicing late into the night.   
  
“Your music is beautiful,” Kwanghee had said. “Thank you for sharing it with us.”  
  
Later that night, Joonmyun had laughed into his pillow with sheer relief and then cried out of pure appreciation for their kindness.  
  
As Joonmyun hands a customer a brown paper bag filled with homemade blueberry pastries with one hand and her receipt with the other hand, his smile falters when he sees Jongdae enter the barn. He doesn’t know why he suddenly feels so nervous.  
  
 _Maybe because Jongdae is the most untouchable guy in the conservatory_ , Joonmyun thinks glumly to himself.   
  
But he has to turn customer service mode on again when Jongdae lugs a white plastic bucket overflowing with blueberries onto the counter.  
  
“Hello again,” Jongdae says, flashing Joonmyun a disarming grin.   
  
Joonmyun tries to internally get ahold of himself as he blithely quips, “So you decided to actually pay for the blueberries this time.”  
  
“Hey!” Jongdae protests. “I thought you told me not to eat the berries out of concern for my safety, not because you were being stingy!”  
  
“Business is business, Jongdae,” Joonmyun croons as he weighs the bucket on the scale.   
  
The laugh that bursts forth from Jongdae sends a tingle straight down Joonmyun’s spine.  
  
“Your total is $19.91.”  
  
Jongdae hands him a twenty and suavely remarks, “Keep the change,” with a greasy wink.  
  
As the other boy saunters away from the checkout counter with a surprisingly effortless grip on the heavy bucket, Joonmyun absentmindedly wonders why he had never tried to approach Jongdae sooner. It’s the summer before their senior year, and they haven’t had a single conversation before today. With a twinge of regret, Joonmyun thinks about how easy it would have been to be friends with Jongdae, if only he would have had the courage to talk to him.   
  
  
  
  
But all too soon, Joonmyun’s blissful summer comes to an end, and he’s faced with the reality of why he’d never dared to speak to Jongdae in the first place.  
  
The last night he spends at Kwanghee's farm, they sit on the roof of the barn, gazing up at the unimpeded view of the stars. It's a view that Joonmyun rarely gets to see during the school year from his city apartment. Joonmyun feels cool, slim fingers grip his, and he turns to look at Kwanghee.   
  
"It's your last year of college, Joonmyunnie," Kwanghee says. An obvious statement, but the true meaning he is trying to convey is in his eyes and his smile. The way he looks at Joonmyun is bittersweet, and there's a sadness in the implied meaning. After graduation, who knows where Joonmyun will end up or if he'll have the chance to spend as much time with Kwanghee. But there is also an unmistakable look of pride in his eyes. Joonmyun has been through so much, worked so hard, and Kwanghee has watched him grow and overcome countless obstacles.   
  
Feeling Kwanghee's fingers grip his, Joonmyun is transported back to high school when they had first met each other.   
  
Even though Kwanghee's parents lived in the countryside, they sent him to live with his aunt and uncle in the city to attend school. It had already been decided for him that Kwanghee would take over the family orchard, but his parents wanted to grant him the opportunity to broaden his horizons a bit before being confined to the family business.   
  
He was a junior when Joonmyun entered high school as a freshman, a little too small and a little too skinny for his age. He made an easy target and was quick to cry when bullies stole and hid his instrument or plucked the strings from his bow. Joonmyun was trying to dive into a dumpster to chase after his instrument case when Kwanghee first encountered the boy.   
  
Too small to reach the edge of the dumpster, Joonmyun tearfully asked the upperclassman if he could give him a lift. Kwanghee refused, climbing into the blue metal apparatus himself, lifting the sticker-covered case and handing it down to Joonmyun. There were stickers of Superman, Iron Man, and Batman plastered across the blue plastic case, but in that moment, Hwang Kwanghee was Joonmyun's biggest hero.   
  
They fell into an easy friendship, and Kwanghee invited Joonmyun to the family farm to spend a few days here and there over the summer. It became kind of a tradition, and the summer after Kwanghee's last year of high school, he invited his younger friend to stay for a solid two weeks. They helped out with the orchard during the daytime and then took strolls along the river in the evenings. Most nights, they would sleep together under the stars.   
  
A few nights before Joonmyun had to return to the city, Kwanghee pulled his blankets close to Joonmyun's. He moved closer until their limbs were pressed flush to each other and their breaths were mingling, and then he leaned in to brush his lips against Joonmyun's. The soft gasp turned into a groan as Kwanghee slipped his fingers past the elastic waistband of Joonmyun's boxers.   
  
Joonmyun came with a choked moan into Kwanghee's fist, but nothing really came of that night. It was, more than anything, a way for Kwanghee to wordlessly express his acceptance of Joonmyun, a way of showing him that he wasn't alone. Now and then, they shared soft, quiet kisses hidden between berry bushes, but they never really came into contact again until years later, when it is Joonmyun's last summer before his own final year of college.   
  
Kwanghee didn't pry for details when Joonmyun asked if he could spend the whole summer on the family farm. Nor did he ask why Joonmyun had barely spared the occasional phone call over the past few years. There was an implicit understanding between them. Joonmyun had his life, zipping ahead 500 miles a minute; Kwanghee had his own life, ambling along like the pastoral stretches of land surrounding the orchard. When they needed each other, they would be there for each other.   
  
With a tight hug goodbye, Kwanghee whispers into Joonmyun's hair how proud he is and how much he'll miss him. Joonmyun doesn't trust his voice, only nods and tries to hold back tears.   
  
  
  
  
The rehearsal hall is an incredibly familiar sight, but Joonmyun can't help but revel in the high, acoustically optimized ceiling, soft cream colored support columns, and pale green walls. He's spent countless hours in the room, but it always holds a certain magic for him.   
  
At the first orchestra rehearsal of the semester, returning students take their seats from the previous semester, and new students fill in the empty spaces. They sit in the arrangement for the last performance of the spring semester, Beethoven's 5th Symphony, with the second violins and violas tucked in between the cellos and first violins. There's only one empty seat in the viola section, all the way in the front, to Yixing's right. The principal chair. Technically, Yixing should take that seat, since he is the only other senior violist, and he was second chair last year (as well as in all prior years), but he's not the type to assume the position just out of seniority. And there's no way Joonmyun is moving to the front to take the seat.   
  
He doesn't mind, especially because sitting close to his friends Luhan and Minseok in the flute section is a form of entertainment in itself. And sure enough, not long after finding his seat, he gets a poke in the back.   
  
"Yo, yo~" Luhan says in the way of a greeting, with Minseok giving him a judgmental glance. "How are you, good man?"  
  
Joonmyun grins, because he really did miss his school friends, as much as he enjoyed all the time spent with Kwanghee over the summer. "As ready for the semester as I'll ever be... How was your road trip with Minseok?"  
  
"I definitely learned a lot..." Luhan replies with a suggestive eyebrow waggle.   
  
"What Luhan means to say," Minseok interrupts to clarify, "is that we went to a ton of masterclasses and concerts and stuff. You should have seen his face when Baxtresser signed his copy of  _Orchestral Excerpts for Flute_."   
  
"Um, let me just draw attention to the fact that Minseok was the one who cried when we went to see James Galway."  
  
"Sir James is my hero, alright?" Minseok defends himself.  
  
Before Joonmyun can jokingly ask if they have a wedding date planned yet, the conductor steps onto the podium, and a hush falls over the orchestra.   
  
"For those of you who are new to the conservatory, welcome. For the rest of you, welcome back." Dr. Lee clasps his hands together. "No use going over introductions and policies just yet, since I know what you're all waiting for: repertoire and seating auditions."  
  
A cheer ripples throughout the rehearsal hall but stops when Dr. Lee waves his hand for attention.   
  
"The first selection for our fall repertoire is...Smetana's Moldau from Má vlast."  
  
There is a mixed response, some grumbles and some hoots of enthusiasm.   
  
"Next is the Brahms violin concerto in D major, featuring our very own Kim Jongdae."  
  
He gestures for the violinist to stand up, which he does with a shy smile and a wave. Upon hearing the selection, there are several gasps of shock and low murmurs that ripple through the orchestra, but someone from the back starts hooting enthusiastically, so the rest of the orchestra claps politely for the soloist.   
  
Joonmyun glances back, and, as expected, it's the principal percussionist, Chanyeol, who is pumping his fist in the air and chanting Jongdae's name.   
  
"And for the final selection, Tchaikovsky's Fifth Symphony."  
  
This announcement is met with unanimous applause and enthusiastic cheers. Joonmyun himself is buzzing with excitement. He's played the Moldau more times than he'd like, but it's not every day that one gets to take part in a Tchaikovsky symphony.   
  
After the cheers have died down, the conductor continues.   
  
"Our orchestra manager Baekhyun will be passing out audition room times and assignments, and the rest of today's rehearsal period will be devoted to auditions. For those of you that are interested, this audition will also determine chamber groups. After you're done, you're free to go. At tomorrow's rehearsal, you will find out the seating, so please no pestering any of the judges between now and then. Best of luck to all of you!"  
  
Waiting in line, Joonmyun has nothing better to do than to stare at his sheet music, even though he's basically memorized the piece. Yixing is standing behind him in line and asks, "What's your solo, Joonmyun?"  
  
"This obscure Hüe piece that I studied for a masterclass I attended over the summer. Although, I guess to some extent all viola solos are obscure. How about you?"  
  
"Don't tell anyone this...but I'm actually playing a transcription of a violin concerto."  
  
"Ooh, risky," Joonmyun jokes.   
  
Yixing shrugs. "It's my last year, thought I might have a little fun. Anyways, it's not like there's an endless supply of real viola concertos to choose from."  
  
It's one of the sad realities of being a violist. But Joonmyun can only count his blessings and be thankful of the fact that solo viola actually sounds good, even though he can count the number of solo viola concerts he's ever attended on one hand. Things could be a lot worse. He could be a French horn player.   
  
The line for the viola auditions isn't that long, and soon Joonmyun finds himself adjusting the music stand to his height and getting ready to delve into the piece.   
  
It's always the same person who listens to the viola auditions each year. Usually, he thanks Joonmyun impassively and dismisses him, but this time, when Joonmyun lowers his bow and opens his eyes, the man is speechless, staring at him with wide eyes. And then he quickly scribbles something on Joonmyun's evaluation sheet, thanks him, and asks him to bring the next person in.   
  
Yixing flashes him a thumbs up with a silent question in his eyes, but Joonmyun just shrugs, telling him that the judge is ready for him.   
  
Joonmyun returns to the rehearsal hall to retrieve his case, which is now hard black plastic and devoid of any stickers or decoration.   
  
The only other person in the room when he returns, besides Baekhyun who is crouched over his laptop, is Jongdae.   
  
"Hey!" Jongdae greets him happily.   
  
"M-me?" Joonmyun asks. He winces inwardly because he sounds pathetic, even to himself.   
  
But thankfully Jongdae just laughs. "Who else would I be talking to?"  
  
"I exist," Baekhyun announces without looking up from his screen.   
  
"Of course, Baekhyun," Joonmyun and Jongdae respond simultaneously. Jongdae snickers and punches Joonmyun in the shoulder, whose eyes widen in shock at the impact.   
  
"That hurt!" he whines, but Jongdae just grins wider.   
  
Soon, they hear an unmistakable voice echoing down the hallway as it approaches the rehearsal room.   
  
"-still can't fucking believe we’re playing the Moldau,” Luhan complains angrily as he walks through the door holding his flute in one hand and angrily shaking his sheet music in Minseok’s face with the other hand.   
  
Minseok places his flute and music on an empty chair and rests his hands on Luhan's shoulders. "Breathe, Luhan. Now is not the time to perpetuate stereotypes about flute players."  
  
"But- this is high school music! I'm not going to spend my senior year playing high school music!"  
  
"Look at me, and repeat after me, Luhan. Not. A. Big. Fucking. Deal." He turns to Jongdae and Joonmyun, who are looking on with amusement and alarm, respectively. "See what I have to put up with everyday?"  
  
Jongdae laughs. "I know how you feel, I have a diva of my own. Quick, someone change the subject, I think I see him coming!"  
  
For some reason, Jongdae's words cause Joonmyun's heart to plummet straight down to his stomach. His chest tightens when he sees Yifan waddle through the door, carrying his string bass. Yifan packs his instrument away and pecks Jongdae on the cheek, murmuring, "You weren't talking about me just now, where you?"  
  
Joonmyun can't bring himself to look at the grin that's probably plastered across Jongdae's face. His eyes drop to the floor and he quickly excuses himself with a mumble, grabbing his case and nearly sprinting through the door.   
  
Clearly, Jongdae has no reason to be single, and Joonmyun had no reason to assume he was.   
  
  
  
  
Joonmyun hides in a practice room all evening, practicing for hours despite the fact that it's only the first day of the semester. He's interrupted by a knock on the door.   
  
It's just his luck when he sees that it's Jongdae on the other side.   
  
"-Oh! Hey!" Jongdae says, apparently as surprised as Joonmyun.   
  
"Can I help you?" Joonmyun asks hesitantly.   
  
"Uhh, honestly I just knocked to make sure that you knew to stick your ID card in the window of the door," Jongdae begins awkwardly.   
  
"Oh. Sorry. I still forget to do that sometimes."  
  
"No, it's fine! The first years just sometimes don't know about the rule, and..." Probably realizing how it sounds, he quickly adds, "Not that I'm suggesting I thought you sounded like a first year or anything!"  
  
"I hadn't even thought of that," Joonmyun says coolly, reaching to close the door, shutting Jongdae outside.   
  
But Jongdae's hand flies to his, preventing it from moving. "Wait," he says, panic creeping into his voice. "Let's try this again. I'm an idiot, and you're an amazing musician."  
  
Joonmyun doesn't look sold, but he withdraws his hand from the door to fiddle with his tuning pegs.   
  
"Really, I mean it! What piece are you practicing?"  
  
"Hüe," is the curt response.   
  
"Ahh," Jongdae says knowingly. "I thought it sounded...French-y."  
  
"Yes, now if you'll excuse me-"  
  
Joonmyun tries to shut the door, but Jongdae catches it with his foot. "Really, Joonmyun? It's only the first day of the semester! You shouldn't be cutting into social hours already. Go hang out with your friends!"  
  
"Good thing I don't have any," Joonmyun mutters under his breath.   
  
"I take personal offense to that, I thought we were friends!" Jongdae protests in fake indignation.   
  
"Are we?" Joonmyun lifts an unamused eyebrow.   
  
"If you give us a chance to be! Way to leave earlier without even letting me say goodbye," Jongdae whines.   
  
Joonmyun doesn't know what to say. He's always been the one to slip away unnoticed. He's not used to feeling...wanted. But even though Jongdae means well, Joonmyun doesn't think an unrequited crush is exactly what he needs right now.   
  
"Sorry about that," he apologizes, trying for a third time to close the door, but this time Jongdae slips into the room with him.   
  
He stares at the violinist with a blank expression, but Jongdae just grins and takes a peek at his music stand.   
  
"That looks fun!"   
  
"Yep." Joonmyun sinks down into the piano bench and clutches his instrument to his chest.   
  
"Hey, are you okay?" Jongdae asks, suddenly concerned.   
  
"Yep."  
  
"Monosyllabic responses aren't typically a good sign, Joonmyun," Jongdae points out, sitting down on the bench next to him. "Is there anything wrong?"  
  
When their knees bump into each other, Joonmyun quickly stands up and reaches for his viola case. "I'm just tired, I think I'm going to head back to my apartment now."  
  
"Oh." Jongdae scratches his head awkwardly. "Well, um, sorry to bother you. See you later."  
  
He raps his knuckles on the door jamb and slips out.   
  
Joonmyun groans in frustration because this always happens. He tries to keep people at a distance so he doesn't get hurt, but he always ends up alienating them. He's hopeless when it comes to social situations, which is why he would consider most of his acquaintances colleagues rather than friends.   
  
The only best friend he's ever had is Kwanghee, who was more of an older brother figure than anything else. He managed to befriend Luhan and Minseok, but it's impossible not to befriend Luhan and Minseok. They are outgoing and welcoming enough to win over even Joonmyun, and their friendship has managed to progress to a point where Joonmyun has entrusted them with the extra key to his apartment.   
  
Although his living conditions aren't exactly ideal, it's about as good as he can get given his location and budget. Keeping a car in the city is close to impossible, but the bus system is free, so Joonmyun doesn't bother owning a car. Thankfully, his apartment is just outside the edge of the conservatory campus, about a five minute walk at a brisk pace.   
  
It's the same apartment he rented the previous school year, taking on Jonghyun's lease after the former principal violist graduated. He pushes the door open and inspects the apartment he hasn't seen in months. Although he had already dropped his belongings off earlier in the day, he hadn't had a chance to take a closer look for any sketchy presences. There haven't been any other residents during the interim, so the apartment is about spotless as it was when he left it. There aren't any used condoms in the sink or anything this time.   
  
Joonmyun has never been a big fan of studio apartments, but between his summer job at the orchard, his sandwich shop gig during the school year, and student discounts, it's the best he can scrape together. It's cramped, but ultimately comfortable, and that's all that really matters in the end.   
  
He's too exhausted and unmotivated to finish unpacking, so Joonmyun takes a quick shower and flops himself into bed.   
  
  
  
  
With a sense of dread and excitement, but mostly dread, Joonmyun joins the queue outside the rehearsal hall the next day before orchestra practice.   
  
Jongdae is already surrounded by a gaggle of adoring freshmen who had heard about him while still in high school and are in obvious awe of his real life presence.   
  
“Is it true you play a Stradivarius?” one girl asks breathlessly.  
  
Before Jongdae can answer, another girl says, “He doesn’t need a Stradivarius to sound good!”  
  
Jongdae just chuckles. “It’s alright, nobody needs a multi-million dollar violin to sound good. There are more important things, like being good at playing violin! Although, I do play a Klotz in case anyone was interested...”  
  
The second girl shoots the first one a look that clearly says, See?  
  
Joonmyun shakes his head to himself as he observes from afar. It’s ridiculous- even from their first year, Jongdae has had groupies.   
  
But then, the sea of students parts for Yifan, who makes a beeline for Jongdae as soon as he enters for lobby. Yifan has this incredible way of instilling awe and fear just with his presence, and the fangirls just freeze with widened eyes, stepping back for him to make his way to Jongdae.   
  
He reaches for the hem of Jongdae's shirt and pulls him close to press their lips together. There are squeals and gasps from surrounding onlookers, and several of them slap themselves and each other in their excitement.   
  
Jongdae pushes his towering boyfriend away, gasping, "I don't like you!"   
  
Yifan chuckles and circles Jongdae’s wrist with his thumb and index finger. His freakishly large hands easily claim Jongdae as his, and Joonmyun looks away.   
  
Baekhyun hesitantly nudges the door to the rehearsal hall open and nearly gets plowed over by an eager stampede of musicians. It's the younger students who rush in first, eager to see where they stand among the other musicians. There's a small crowd that lingers outside in the lobby, waiting for the initial frenzy to die down.   
  
It's basically common knowledge that Jongdae will be concertmaster again. Unless there's a Jongdae 2.0 in the freshman class, but even a first year Jongdae is no match for a fourth year Jongdae. Same thing for Jongin, the third year cellist. A section almost as competitive as the violins, Jongin easily won principal cello as a freshman. Other than Yifan, there are less than a handful of bassists. He had actually taught new arrivals when they were still high school students, so his position is secure, as well.   
  
Joonmyun lingers in the lobby with the principal players and first stands because he is sure that he'll be in the same position that he's been in every year he has attended the conservatory: last chair. Although, last year, he made it to second-to-last chair, which is technically improvement.   
  
They walk in about five minutes before rehearsal starts, and the string section arrangement is different, again. Apparently the conductor can't make up his mind about where he wants to keep the violas, because they're now on the outside section, flanking the cellos and second violins and facing the the first violins. Joonmyun doesn't mind because a different location means different people to stare at during rests.   
  
As Joonmyun approaches the viola section, Yixing waves at him and calls out, "Joonmyun, you're sitting next to me!"  
  
Joonmyun's brain must be malfunctioning, because Yixing is in his usual seat, as assistant principal viola. The chair next to him is empty, which means-  
  
A hard clap to the back causes Joonmyun to stumble forward.   
  
"Congrats, kid!" Luhan says brightly. "You finally got the seat you've always deserved!"  
  
Somehow, by some miracle, Joonmyun has won principal viola. He silently thanks Kwanghee and his family for all the nights he had probably kept them awake by practicing. He hopes that Kwanghee will be proud of him.   
  
But the new arrangement in the string section also means that Joonmyun is seated directly across from Jongdae, who is waving enthusiastically at him and giving him a thumbs up. He hesitantly lifts a hand to return the greeting.   
  
Jongdae silently mouths something at him, but Joonmyun just frowns slightly, tilting his head in confusion. Jongdae tries to form the syllables more slowly, emphatically, but Joonmyun doesn't understand, even when Jongdae lifts up a packet of sheet music and starts waving it around.   
  
Finally, Jongdae resorts to lifting his voice and hollering, "CHECK YOUR CHAMBER MUS-"  
  
But he stops when a hush falls over the orchestra and he makes awkward eye contact with Dr. Lee, who has stepped onto the podium. "Am I interrupting something?" the conductor asks.   
  
Joonmyun feels a hot burn of secondhand embarrassment, but apparently he is affected a lot more than Jongdae is, as the violinist proceeds in tuning the orchestra without missing a beat.   
  
They start with the Moldau, which Jongdae sits out in order to prepare for his concerto. As much as Luhan had seemed to despise the piece, the flute solo at the beginning is simply breathtaking. His notes tumble and meld into Minseok's, ebbing and flowing into each other like the river the symphonic poem was inspired by. Joonmyun takes a peek at the flutists when the opening passage has ended, and Luhan's fighting a smile. But he breaks out into a grin when Minseok reaches over to squeeze his knee.   
  
Among Joonmyun's high school youth orchestras and music camps, he has performed the Moldau five or six different times already. He is extremely familiar with the piece, which makes it a lot easier to focus on  _feeling_  the music, rather than thinking about it. He leans into the phrases, using his body language to guide his section through the crescendos, transitions, and tempo shifts like a good section leader.   
  
He glances up near the finale, and Jongdae is leaning against the wall by the doorway, brushing his thumb along the strings of his violin. Staring at Joonmyun. They lock eyes, and Jongdae quirks his eyebrows and tilts his chin up in acknowledgement. Joonmyun frowns, directing his attention back to the sheet music.   
  
But his concentration has been broken, and he automatically leans in to reach for the corner of the sheet music, even though they had already agreed that it would be more efficient for Yixing to turn the page. The stand partners end up bumping heads, and Joonmyun quickly withdraws, his cheeks warming. He looks back towards the doorway, and Jongdae is doubled over in laughter, banging his fist against the wall. Joonmyun frowns as he fingers a run that has been ingrained in his muscle memory. It wasn't  _that_  funny.   
  
After the final chord is played, Joonmyun's eyes involuntarily wander from the tip of Dr. Lee's baton back to Jongdae. The violinist has tucked his instrument and his bow under his elbows and is clapping enthusiastically. When they make eye contact, Jongdae points straight at Joonmyun and claps even harder. Joonmyun's not sure if he's making fun of him or not, so he chooses to simply ignore the violinist.   
  
In Jongdae's absence, Kyungsoo sits in the concertmaster's seat. Taking his place before the orchestra, Jongdae tunes to the stand-in concertmaster and nods to Dr. Lee. The conductor smiles fondly at him and lifts his hands, ready to signal the downbeat of the Brahms concerto.   
  
Joonmyun has heard Jongdae perform before, but this is something else. The concerto itself is a behemoth, but Jongdae does more than just play it. He takes possession of each note. His sound cuts through the full orchestra, soaring above all the other instruments. It’s warm, it’s dark, it’s rich. It’s easy for Joonmyun to lose himself to the music, to Jongdae.   
  
There is a split-second moment of utter silence before Jongdae dives into the cadenza. To Joonmyun's relief, Jongdae plays the Heifetz cadenza. The entire room watches on in awe as Jongdae rips through runs and trills and double stops with mastery and finesse. The rippling muscles in his arms and the lithe twists of his body make him a masterpiece to behold, as well as to hear.   
  
The entire orchestra is so entranced that half of the musicians are still staring, open-mouthed by the time Jongdae reaches his final trill. There is a scramble to pick up instruments, and the  _tutti_  entrance is sloppy as hell, but Jongdae allows himself a small smile that he hides from the rest of the orchestra by bending his head down to stare at the carpet. Joonmyun is close enough that he doesn't miss the smile, and it suddenly warms his heart to see Jongdae looking so quietly proud of himself.   
  
Despite the fact that it's only the first movement, the entire room bursts into applause at the end. Jongdae shyly ducks his head in acknowledgement of the applause. Joonmyun glances behind him, and even Yifan, who is usually rather aloof, is clapping enthusiastically.   
  
Jongdae breezes through the second and third movements with the same level of flawless ease, conquering the physical and emotional strenuousness of the piece. The concerto is an infamously demanding piece, but it is Jongdae who takes command of the music, rather than letting the music overpower him. Drops of sweat are beading along his temple as he reaches the final runs, but his facial expression is not one of struggle, but of joy. He breaks into a full, open-mouthed grin as he plays the final chord with a triumphant flourish of his bow.   
  
The orchestra applauds even more furiously, and Jongdae bows, his chest heaving. The conductor shakes his hand and pats his back in warm encouragement. Even though Joonmyun is also sweating, he feels a chill prickle down his spine and along his arms as Jongdae’s music echoes in his ears.   
  
The violinist flops happily, but exhaustedly into his seat as the rest of his section rearranges themselves for the Tchaikovsky symphony. He reaches for his water bottle, and Joonmyun can’t help but stare at the bob of Jongdae’s adam’s apple as he guzzles the drink. It makes Joonmyun’s mouth go a little dry, but he tells himself that he’s just getting thirsty watching Jongdae hydrate. Yeah. Thirsty.   
  
Screwing the cap back on the bottle, Jongdae wipes the corner of his mouth and glances up, locking eyes with Joonmyun. Sitting directly across from each other is going to make for an interesting, if not distracting, semester, Joonmyun can just tell already. Jongdae smirks when he catches the violist looking at him, and he winks. Joonmyun almost misses the downbeat of the next piece.   
  
To Joonmyun, Tchaikovsky’s Fifth, especially the first movement, has always had a swashbuckling feel to it. Although there are so many reasons to appreciate the piece, from its emotional profundity to the powerful melodies and harmonies, Joonmyun likes it because it vaguely reminds him of his favorite movie franchise, the Pirates of the Caribbean. Not that he would ever voice that revelation out loud.  
  
Playing Tchaikovsky is as challenging and as wonderful as Joonmyun had hoped. Since it’s only their first play-through, it’s a bit rough around the edges, but Joonmyun manages to not get lost, for the most part. Sharing a stand with Yixing is a dream. Because Joonmyun is used to sitting in the back of the section with slackers and nervous freshmen, playing with someone of Yixing's caliber is a luxury. It makes him wonder how he had become so fortunate as to win the principal seat.   
  
By the end of the 45-minute symphony (the conductor has a habit of plowing ahead at full speed, even from the first rehearsal), Joonmyun is exhausted, but satisfied. In the end, it doesn't matter to Joonmyun where he sits, or what he plays. He loves playing music, and he especially loves playing in an orchestra.   
  
As expected, there is a crowd gathered around Jongdae after the rehearsal ends. Joonmyun hesitates, since he's never actually approached Jongdae in this kind of situation before, even though he has wanted to in the past. But this time, he wants so badly to say something to Jongdae, to somehow try to express how much the violinist's performance moved him, even though it was just a first rehearsal’s run-through.   
  
Joonmyun's been to all of Jongdae's solo recitals. He's not being a creep, everybody at the conservatory has been to at least one Kim Jongdae recital. But he's never had the courage to directly approach the violinist, rationalizing that there's nothing he can say that Jongdae hasn't heard before. It makes no difference that the words are coming from Joonmyun's mouth.   
  
Before Joonmyun can properly chicken out, Jongdae sees him and waves, maneuvering through the crowd to Joonmyun's side.   
  
"Hey, Joonmyun, what's up?"  
  
Joonmyun never knows how to answer that particular question, whether to just say something along the lines of "nothing much", or to give an actual run-through of his day. Thankfully, he's saved from floundering around for a proper response.   
  
"Did you check your chamber music, Joonmyun?" Jongdae asks excitedly, clinging onto Joonmyun's arm.   
  
"No, not yet," Joonmyun answers, carefully pulling his arm from Jongdae's grip.   
  
He opens the folder with his name scrawled in Baekhyun's messy print. The first page has his group and room assignment.   
  
 _Room L120  
Kim Jongdae, first violin  
Do Kyungsoo, second violin  
Kim Joonmyun, viola  
Kim Jongin, cello_  
  
Under the assignment page is the Joonmyun's part for the chamber music piece, Beethoven's String Quartet in F minor. Joonmyun's stomach does a pleasant little flip not only because he's playing in Jongdae's chamber group, but also because he's playing  _actual_ string music for once. He's become entirely too accustomed to playing in Mozart wind quartets as backup.   
  
Not that he doesn't value his previous experiences. It was through the Mozart Flute Quartet in C major that he became friends with Luhan. But this is something entirely different. It's the prestige of being grouped with some of the conservatory's best, the opportunity to perform such a challenging, demanding piece.   
  
“Aren’t you excited, Joonmyun?” Jongdae all but squeals. “Right after orchestra, you get two more hours with me! (And Kyungsoo and Jongin, I guess…)”   
  
"Oh...yeah... Definitely excited."  
  
"I can't wait! It's a good thing you're another Kim J. Last year, as you probably remember, Jonghyun was where you are now. Wait a second, didn't you date him or something?"  
  
Joonmyun takes a sudden interest in the posters plastered on the walls of the hallway they're walking down, advertising piano accompanists, apartments for rent, and the like. His stomach still does a little flip when he hears his ex mentioned.   
  
"Yeah, I did."  
  
"Ohh," Jongdae says thoughtfully. "I think I remember him mentioning you, but I wonder why he never introduced you."  
  
The truth was, Joonmyun easily let Jonghyun take possession of him. He didn't mind the fact that the older boy didn't show him off or parade him around, keeping him all for himself. Jonghyun made Joonmyun feel like they were the only two people in the world and that Jonghyun was the only person Joonmyun would ever need. It is strange to think how deeply in love Joonmyun thought he was, but how quickly he was able to file his feelings away when it was all over. He supposes that making himself numb was his only mechanism of defense.   
  
But now, Joonmyun knows better than to surrender all his feelings to any one person.   
  
At the same time, Joonmyun notes with some amusement that he's definitely seeing a pattern emerge as his "type." Kwanghee and Jonghyun were both indulgent, caring older brother types who liked to take care of him, baby him occasionally. Before he can stop himself, Joonmyun absentmindedly wonders how Jongdae fits into his type.   
  
"Anyways," Jongdae continues, oblivious to Joonmyun's internal soliloquy. "We used to tease Kyungsoo all the time about not fitting into the Kim J line. Poor thing. Although, I'm pretty sure Jongin is set on making Kyungsoo a Kim J, if you know what I mean."  
  
When he is met with a blank stare from Joonmyun, Jongdae explains, "Jongin is pretty serious about his thing with Kyungsoo. Even last year. You can imagine the tension during our rehearsals..."  
  
Joonmyun chooses to stay silent, but Jongdae apparently feels the need to elaborate. "There was a lot of tension...highly sexual, too. And you're getting a chance to experience it firsthand!"  
  
This time, Joonmyun blinks. Jongdae is watching Joonmyun carefully and grins when he sees that his words have been processed. Just what Joonmyun needs, a sexually tense atmosphere with Kim Jongdae in his vicinity.   
  
Thankfully, Kyungsoo and Jongin are already in Room L120 by the time they arrive.   
  
"Alright," Jongdae announces when they've all tuned. "I know this might be asking for a bit much, but I'd really like for us to have all of this memorized within maybe the next...three weeks."  
  
Kyungsoo and Jongin nod, but Joonmyun can't help but let his eyes widen.   
  
Unfortunately, Jongdae catches him. "Don't be scared, it's just that playing with sheet music can be a barrier. For this piece, it's a barrier that I want to get rid of as soon as possible, so we can focus on more important things... Like eye contact."  
  
Of course, Joonmyun should have remembered that one of the most important elements of playing chamber music is to communicate through eye contact and body language.   
  
Jongdae apparently seems to have the piece memorized already, judging from how frequently his eyes are on the members of the quartet, rather than his sheet music. Joonmyun tries to keep up, following Jongdae's visual cues, such as the way he leans into the phrases through the crescendos. Jongdae clearly knows what he's doing, and he guides the rest of the quartet along through his body language to create the music that he has envisioned.   
  
Yet, at the end of the rehearsal, he announces, "You guys probably don't need me to say this, but I just want to remind you that this is a _quartet_. We are each individually soloists, but at the same time, we make music as one. Each one of you has the opportunity to take leadership, so I expect that once you all are more familiar with the music, you will take advantage of those moments."  
  
Even though he is addressing the entire quartet, Joonmyun can't help but feel like it is directed towards him. He's the only newcomer out of the four of them, and the other three have already been accustomed to playing with each other.   
  
Jongin and Kyungsoo quickly exit the practice room, leaving only Joonmyun and Jongdae behind.   
  
Joonmyun summons his courage to speak directly to the violinist. "Hey, I'm sorry if you think I'm holding the group back-"  
  
"What?" Jongdae looks at Joonmyun in alarm. "Why would you think that I thought you were holding us back?"  
  
"You guys have been playing this level of material together for a couple years now... I've always been stuck with freshmen and wind players."  
  
"But that doesn't mean that Kyungsoo and Jongin don't need a reminder, as well! I mean, did you see the way they were eyeing each other the entire time? It was more to tell them to remember connect with the entire group and to step up their game, you know?"  
  
"Oh." But there's one more thing Joonmyun wants to know. "So you're okay with me being here? I know I'm not as experienced as you guys..."  
  
"Joonmyun, look at me." Jongdae reaches over to tilt Joonmyun's chin up. "You have nothing to worry about, alright? You're golden."  
  
There's a flutter in Joonmyun's chest that might have something to do with Jongdae's words or maybe how close he's standing.   
  
"You know," Jongdae continues, removing his hand from Joonmyun's chin to pick up his violin case. "I can tell that you play from your heart. Most of us, we have to act in order to reach that depth of emotion. But you're not acting. You feel the music."  
  
"T-thanks." Joonmyun feels a surge of warmth. He's not used to being complimented in this way.   
  
"I can't help but notice though, you play like a violinist."  
  
"How- how could you tell?" Joonmyun is genuinely puzzled, since nobody had ever picked up on that before.   
  
"Oh, wow, I was right then!" Jongdae looks faintly amused. "Honestly, it's the way you lead. I noticed it during orchestra, the way you lead your section as if you're the concertmaster or something." He chuckles. "And I noticed even more just now, during Beethoven. You don't just hold your own, you guide the rest of us along, too."  
  
Joonmyun is speechless, and Jongdae continues. "Like I said, you have nothing to worry about. In fact, if you were a violinist, I would probably feel threatened by you right now. We'd have a Kim J as a concertmaster, but I couldn't tell you which one of us it would be... I can't help but wonder though, why viola? You probably already know how many more opportunities you'd have as a violinist..."  
  
"I've played violin since I was three, but I picked up viola a few years ago. I auditioned for the conservatory on both. I was admitted through violin, but I was offered a full scholarship if I entered as a viola student." Joonmyun's dream of becoming a musician didn't exactly have the staunch support of his parents, so he had to take the most practical route possible. And because Joonmyun couldn't quite make it as a violinist, becoming a violist was about as practical as he could get.   
  
"Oh. Um, well, do you like viola more than violin?"  
  
"Nope," Joonmyun answers with a bright grin.  
  
Jongdae's smile falters and his eyebrows tilt slightly in concern. Joonmyun doesn't want sympathy, so he stretches his grin even wider.   
  
"Well, it's a good thing you're amazing at viola!" Jongdae pats him on the shoulder. "I honestly don't know why we haven't played together yet. Or why in orchestra you've always been, um..."  
  
"Last chair," Joonmyun finishes for him.   
  
"Yeah, but I really don't understand, though. No offense."  
  
"No, it's okay. I don't know, it's always been difficult for me to connect with the viola on an emotional level, you know? It was hard for me pour my emotions into playing the way I did with violin before. It always felt fake, and I guess it came across as fake, too."  
  
"I totally get you, there's only so much that practicing can do. You can spend hours in the practice room getting the technique right, but it's not real music until you really feel it. And it's even tougher trying to get the audience to feel it."  
  
Joonmyun chuckles drily. "Thanks, that makes me feel a bit better about getting last chair for three consecutive years."  
  
"Well, they obviously saw something in you if they admitted you into the school, and with a full ride, no less! And I think you're forgetting, Mr. Principal Viola, that you're golden now.  _Something_  must have clicked between this semester and the last," Jongdae insists.   
  
"Yeah," Joonmyun mumbles. "Something."  
  
"What was it?" Jongdae asks with genuine curiosity. "Tell me your secrets... Did you meet the devil at a crossroads and challenge him to a playoff?"  
  
"I realized that viola was all that I had left."  
  
"Oh." Jongdae's lighthearted expression slips into a graver one. "Do you want to talk about it?"  
  
"There's not much to talk about. Jonghyun left to study at the Paris Conservatory. My parents kicked me out when I tried to move back in for the summer."  
  
"Oh my god, that sounds awful, I'm so sorry-"  
  
"No, it's fine. I'm over it."  
  
"If you don't mind me asking..." Jongdae begins hesitantly.   
  
"Why they kicked me out? I want to be a musician, and I'm gay. What other reason do they need."   
  
Joonmyun laughs humorlessly, and a pained expression flits across Jongdae's face. "Joonmyun, I'm glad you've found music as an outlet, but if you ever need to talk... You shouldn't have to keep that kind of thing bottled up..."  
  
"Thanks for the offer, Jongdae, but I really need to get back to my apartment now." He smiles tightly and excuses himself. The truth was, Joonmyun didn't know how much longer he would be able to longer on the topic before breaking down.   
  
  
  
  
The first month of the semester hasn't even ended yet, but Joonmyun is already burning the candle at both ends. On top of classes, his job, private lessons, individual practice time, and rehearsals (especially with his new, more demanding role as section leader), Joonmyun has graduate school applications to deal with. He's banking on the hope that the conservatory would be willing to accept him as a graduate student.   
  
The thing about the university he attends is that, sure, students come here for undergrad, but it's the graduate and professional programs that people are after. With the nation's oldest music school, as well as its top medical school, thousands of undergrads apply to the graduate schools, including many of the university's own undergrads, but only a handful manage to matriculate each year, regardless of the college they attended.   
  
Joonmyun knows that it's a risk, that there are safer options and he shouldn't get his hopes up, but he can't help but feel like he has something to prove.   
  
It's the third week of the semester, the deadline for when Jongdae had said he wanted their string quartet to be off-book. Joonmyun was pretty sure that he had his part down, but he still practiced past midnight the night before just to make sure. He didn't want to be the one to slow their group down.   
  
During rehearsal, however, he ends up having the opposite effect. Going straight from his job to orchestra and then straight to chamber rehearsal afterwards, Joonmyun doesn't have a chance to consume anything other than iced coffee in between.   
  
Jongdae puts his bow down halfway through the first page of the first movement. "Joonmyun, do you know that you're rushing?"  
  
"W-what? No, I'm sorry-"  
  
"It's fine, just try not to let it happen again."  
  
"Yeah, Joonmyun," Jongin jokes. "This isn't Tchaikovsky-"  
  
"Don't do it, Jongin," Kyungsoo warns, sending him a rather terrifying glare.   
  
"-so you shouldn't be  _Russian_!" Jongin finishes, clapping like a seal at his own pun. He looks so pleased with himself that even Kyungsoo cracks a smile.   
  
"You are an embarrassment, and I don't know you," Kyungsoo announces.   
  
It lightens the mood considerably in the moment, but Joonmyun is more self-conscious and nervous than ever when they return to playing.   
  
He can't help it. He's geared up on nerves, caffeine, and adrenaline, and he ends up rushing  _everything_. It comes to a point where Joonmyun is so hopelessly lost, especially without his sheet music as a crutch, that he just stops playing. The rest of the quartet finishes the first movement a minute later. It's an agonizing sixty seconds in which Joonmyun stares at the floor, blinking back angry tears of frustration, ignoring the worried glances cast upon him.   
  
"Let's take a break, guys," Jongdae sighs. "Come on, Joonmyun, let's take a walk outside, get some fresh air, okay?"  
  
Joonmyun gets up with shaky knees and allows himself to be led out of the practice room, down the hallway, and through the building exit.   
  
"Are you alright, Joonmyun? You seem jittery today... You're not nervous or anything are you?"  
  
"No, I'm fine, I just had a lot of caffeine today..." Truthfully, Joonmyun hadn't been that nervous to begin with, but he was just starting to get into his own head.   
  
"Okay, just don't drink so much coffee or Red Bull right before rehearsal next time- whoa!"  
  
As they're ascending the staircase, Joonmyun's dizziness causes him to sway. But then blackness eats at the corners of his vision, the ground lurches beneath him, and he's tumbling backwards into Jongdae's arms.   
  
"Hey, hey, are you okay, Joonmyun? Come on, let's find somewhere to sit." Jongdae speaks soothingly, but there's a hint of panic edging into his voice.   
  
He all but carries Joonmyun's limp body to a nearby bench. When they sit down, Joonmyun is still leaning against him for support, and Jongdae still has an arm curled protectively around Joonmyun's waist, his hand splayed across his ribcage.   
  
"Joonmyun, have you been taking care of yourself? You're nothing but skin and bones," Jongdae murmurs. "You're so light, when was the last time you had a proper meal?"  
  
"At least eighteen hours ago," Joonmyun groans.   
  
"What? Are you serious? Not even breakfast?" Jongdae asks, alarmed.   
  
"I can't eat right before I work, it makes me feel queasy. And I didn't have the appetite to eat afterwards. And then orchestra and chamber, you know."  
  
"Well, why do you still work there if it makes you lose your appetite?"   
  
"...It's embarrassing." Joonmyun tucks his chin into his chest, hoping that Jongdae won't pry.   
  
"I'm pretty sure that I have the most embarrassing job in the world, don't worry. If you tell me about your job, I'll tell you about mine," Jongdae promises.  
  
Joonmyun is intrigued. "I work there still because it was Jonghyun's favorite restaurant, and it's basically where we met," he explains against his better judgment.   
  
"That's not embarrassing at all! It's actually really sweet. You have a really big heart, Joonmyun, I like that about you." He gives Joonmyun's shoulder a fond squeeze, and the violist can't help but let a giggle bubble out.   
  
"And a cute laugh, too," Jongdae adds.   
  
"Tell me about your work!" Joonmyun demands.   
  
"Uh... I don't think your story was embarrassing enough for me to tell you mine, I'm sorry." Jongdae scratches his head awkwardly and grins apologetically.   
  
"You promised!" Joonmyun whines. He puffs his cheeks and pushes his bottom lip all the way out.   
  
"Whoa! Hold on there a second!" Jongdae laughs. "Who allowed you to pout like that? Don't ever do that again, okay?"  
  
Joonmyun just pushes his lip further out in response, furrowing his brow as well.   
  
"Argh!" Jongdae groans in mock frustration. "Alright, I promise I'll tell you about it someday, if you don't somehow find out for yourself. I just kind of still want you to think I'm cool, at least for a little while longer."  
  
Joonmyun looks at Jongdae straight on with the saddest eyes he can muster until Jongdae has to cover his own eyes with the back of his hand. "Please, don't look at me like that. You're weakening my steely resolve... I'll tell you what, though, let me text Kyungsoo and Jongin that the rest of rehearsal is canceled tonight, and I'll take you to  _my_  favorite restaurant. Sound like a deal?"  
  
Taken by surprise, Joonmyun finds himself nodding in response.   
  
They sit across from each other at a 24 hour diner in a cozy booth with cushiony seats. It's not the kind of place that Joonmyun usually goes to, so he carefully pores over every page of the menu.   
  
"Most of the stuff on here is greasier than Wu Yifan," Jongdae says conversationally. "But I like it."  
  
He peeks over at Joonmyun and adds, “There's no way you're going to order a salad. Here, just...let me order for you, okay?"  
  
Joonmyun agrees, quietly sinking back into his seat.   
  
"So, who's your favorite composer?" Jongdae asks after the waitress has taken their menus away. "Don't think about it too hard, there's no right or wrong answer here."  
  
After a moment of hesitation, Joonmyun answers, "Tchaikovsky."  
  
"Good answer!" Jongdae applauds.   
  
"I thought you said there weren't any right or wrong answers!"  
  
"Yeah, but, some answers can be a warning sign, you know. Like, I should have known Yifan and I wouldn't work out when he told me his favorite was Wagner."  
  
Joonmyun almost chokes on his milkshake, but Jongdae continues obliviously, stirring his own soda.  
  
"Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with liking Wagner. It just takes a certain personality to be able to say that he's your favorite. I've always wanted myself to like Wagner, but it's always way too long and it never resolves, you know?" Jongdae makes a face. "You can imagine what the sex was like."  
  
Joonmyun chokes for real this time, and Jongdae reaches over to pat his arm. "Hang in there, little buddy."  
  
"So..." Joonmyun ventures hesitatingly. "You're not...dating anyone?"  
  
Jongdae arches his eyebrows. "Isn't this a date?"   
  
Joonmyun opens his mouth to respond, but he isn't sure what to say. He's saved by the waitress, who pulls up to their table to place a cheeseburger in front of each of them and a basket laden with French fries between them.   
  
For a few seconds, Joonmyun just stares at his plate.   
  
"What's wrong, Joonmyun?" Jongdae asks with concern.   
  
"This cheeseburger is thicker than my arm... I'm not sure how to eat it," he admits.   
  
"You just..." Jongdae demonstrates, miming the act of lifting the cheeseburger up and stretching his mouth impossibly wide to take a bite into the air.   
  
Joonmyun giggles and picks up his own burger to take a bite. When he sees Jongdae watching him with amusement, he covers his mouth with the back of his hand and frowns. "What?" he asks, his voice muffled by the food.   
  
"Your mouth always looks so tiny when it's closed, I always forget how big it gets, like when you smile...It's cute, though!" he quickly adds. "And your cheeks always puff out so much when you eat or drink, how do they do that?"  
  
"Quit teasing me and eat your own food," Joonmyun complains.   
  
Jongdae chuckles, and his tongue darts out to lick the ketchup off the tip of his French fry, but Joonmyun is too absorbed in his own burger to notice.   
  
As they're polishing off the last few fries, Jongdae asks, "Want to get something for dessert?" He pulls out a dessert menu tucked between the condiment caddy and the wall, handing it to Joonmyun.   
  
Joonmyun peruses the various ice cream flavors, sundae options, and other creative arrangements of ice cream. He briefly considers a scoop of chocolate ice cream with gummy worms and crumbled chocolate cookies, but thinks better of it when he realizes that he's looking at the kids' section.   
  
"Hey, we should share a sundae!" Jongdae suggests. "They're huge, and this one has a giant brownie at the bottom."  
  
"No, I think I'll just get a cone."  
  
"It's way too big for me to finish on my own... Plus," Jongdae adds with a grin, "it'll be cute if we share it. Super couple-y."  
  
But Joonmyun is adamant about getting his own ice cream cone. Jongdae ends up ordering a couple scoops of vanilla with a candy shop's worth of toppings: hot fudge, nuts, sprinkles, toffee bits, chocolate chips, and fruity looking rainbow pieces that Joonmyun can't even identify. When Joonmyun orders a single scoop of spinach flavored ice cream, Jongdae makes a face and says, "Wow, I'm glad we ended up not sharing."  
  
"Veggie ice cream is good, okay? You can't know unless you've tried!"  
  
Jongdae reluctantly concedes, "You like Tchaikovsky, so I trust your opinion. But I think I'll have to just take your word on this one."  
  
"He's your favorite too?"  
  
Jongdae's eyes light up the special way musicians' do when they talk about the music they love. "You know, as much as I like Bach, Mozart, Beethoven, etc... I have to say that Tchaik holds a special place in my heart. Quick- what's your favorite Tchaik symphony?"  
  
Immediately, Joonmyun and Jongdae blurt out at the same time, "Four, five, and six."  
  
Jongdae grins triumphantly. "I knew I had a good feeling about you."  
  
When their desserts arrive, Joonmyun happily bites away at his generous portion of ice cream while Jongdae watches in amazement.   
  
"What?" Joonmyun asks, mid-bite.   
  
"You bite your ice cream?" Jongdae asks incredulously. "That's incredible."  
  
"Yeah, I don't lick, I always bite," Joonmyun responds casually.   
  
"And now I'm mildly terrified of you," Jongdae admits.   
  
"Good," Joonmyun replies, crunching his ice cream cone.   
  
"I'm just kidding... This was nice, we should do this more often..." Jongdae suggests rather coyly.   
  
But Joonmyun is oblivious, as usual. "Oh. Um, sure."  
  
"Maybe I'm being too subtle here, but that was supposed to be a segue for you to ask me out."  
  
"Oh... Oh! Um..." Joonmyun fidgets as Jongdae watches with an expectant expression. "Do you want to...listen to Tchaikovsky with me sometime?"  
  
Joonmyun cringes inwardly, but Jongdae seems to find it endearing. "You're adorable. And yes, I'd love to."  
  
Jongdae pays for the check and pecks Joonmyun on the cheek after they exit the diner. "I have a bus to catch, but I'm glad we had a chance to spend some time together! Don't work yourself too hard, Joonmyun."  
  
He jogs away, glancing behind him to give Joonmyun a little wave, which Joonmyun returns a little too late. He watches Jongdae go with a hand on the spot where Jongdae kissed him on his cheek. The butterflies in his stomach still won't go away.   
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

Besides the chamber music incident, the rest of Joonmyun's week goes by relatively smoothly. Or, more accurately, the week floats by as Joonmyun is on a fluffy high from his "date" with Jongdae. And he is so proud of himself for asking Jongdae for another date that he decides to treat himself that weekend. 

There's a new comic book store that just opened near the main campus of the university. Joonmyun hasn't been there since he fulfilled his core curriculum, so he didn't find out about the place until he saw Baekhyun carrying a plastic bag with its logo emblazoned on the side. He had tried to deny that he had gone to a comic book store at first, but then the latest issues of Wonder Woman tumbled out of a hole in the flimsy plastic. 

"It's three blocks down from the north entrance of the main campus," Baekhyun had grumbled. 

Joonmyun hasn't always been great with directions, and the new stores that have popped up around the campus certainly don't help Joonmyun as he tries to orient himself. Eventually, he wanders his way into a small store tucked between a spirit wear store and a laundromat. 

The storefront is unimposing, demure even, but Joonmyun feels like he has had a glimpse of heaven as he steps inside. Lining every wall from floor to ceiling are comic books of every brand, from DC to Marvel and everything in between. There is a maze of shelves filled with more books and collectible items that winds its way through the store. Joonmyun can't wait to get lost in it. 

"Hey, was there anything you were looking for- oh, hey!"

Joonmyun turns around and sees Jongdae wearing a tshirt with the store's logo printed across the chest and a name tag. 

"I'm sorry," Jongdae laughs. "I almost gave you a canned greeting! What's up, Joonmyun?"

"Um, I'm just browsing..."

"I'm supposed to disengage with the customer at this point," Jongdae admits, "but I hope you won't mind if I stick around a little bit more."

Joonmyun shrugs and smiles to himself so that Jongdae won't see how pleased he is. 

"I must say, I'm pretty impressed by how quickly you were able to find out where I work."

"You don't seem very embarrassed," Joonmyun points out. 

"Nope, now that I know you're as much of a nerd as I am."

"Ha, ha."

Jongdae leans against a shelf as Joonmyun browses the colorful volumes, his fingers dancing along the shelves. 

"I wish I could work here," he murmurs. 

"Go for it," Jongdae says encouragingly. "The manager is super cool, and we've only picked up a handful of employees since opening."

"I don't know," Joonmyun says doubtfully. "I already have a job, and it's worked out for almost three years now..."

Jongdae shrugs. "Suit yourself. But I can introduce you to the manager right now, so you can get his number in case you change your mind..."

After a moment of consideration, Joonmyun says, "Sure. I'd appreciate that."

Jongdae leads Joonmyun to the backroom, where a chestnut haired man is unpacking a cardboard box filled with the latest issue of Daredevil. 

"Hakyeon, this is Joonmyun, he's thinking about applying for a job here," Jongdae announces. 

The man straightens up to smile placidly at Joonmyun. "Greetings earthling, my name is N. I'm glad to hear you're interested in joining our forces." He pulls a business card from his desk and hands it to Joonmyun. 

Jongdae coughs in embarrassment. "Remember when I told you my manager was super cool? Yeah, forget I said anything."

He pulls Joonmyun back to the store floor and apologizes. "Sorry, he's usually not that weird to people straight off the bat. Although he must have a pretty good feeling about you, if that makes you feel any better. But yeah, Hakyeon is a giant dork and insists on being called N for some reason."

"No, it's fine! I like him, actually."

"Great, so you'll think about applying?"

"Yeah, I'll definitely think about it."

Jongdae beams and steps behind the counter to ring up a customer waiting in line. Joonmyun ends up picking the latest issues of Deadpool, Iron Man, and Batman. 

"Good choice," Jongdae compliments him as he slides the comic books across the counter. 

"Are you just saying that because you're paid to," Joonmyun deadpans. 

"No, I mean it!" Jongdae is indignant. "If I didn't genuinely like it, I wouldn't have said anything."

"I'll keep that in mind, thanks."

"Your total is $19.92."

Joonmyun hands him a twenty and says with a wink, "Keep the change."

Jongdae grins as he slides the comics into a plastic bag. But he casts a worried glance out of the window as he hands the bag to Joonmyun. 

"It's raining pretty hard outside, are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah, I brought an umbrella, I'll be fine."

"Alright, if you say so." Jongdae grins and squeezes Joonmyun's hand before he leaves. 

Joonmyun is accustomed to the sudden flash storms that last no more than an hour at a time, but occur throughout the day unexpectedly. What he's not used to is the wind. It blows the rain, not just from above, but into his body from all directions, rendering his umbrella useless. 

And almost as if carrying the umbrella wasn't futile enough, a gust of wind blows Joonmyun's umbrella inside out. He tries tucking his bag under his shirt and fixing his umbrella, but it's hopeless and he's just getting wetter by the second. He stuffs the broken umbrella into a nearby trash bin and trudges along, looking for his bus stop. 

Except the rain had obscured his vision and he wasn't watching where he was going as he struggled with his umbrella. Joonmyun suddenly realizes that he has no idea where he is, as neither the comic book store nor the bus stop are anywhere in sight. 

So he turns himself around and heads back in the direction he came from. 

Thankfully, he somehow stumbles his way back in the comic book store, soaked and shivering. He finds a corner to sit in, out of sight, to wait for the rain to cease. 

"Joonmyun!" Jongdae's worried voice causes Joonmyun to glance up. "Joonmyun, oh my god, I thought you said you had an umbrella! Are you cold? You look like you're freezing."

"I-it's okay," Joonmyun says, trying not to shiver. "I'm just g-going to wait until the rain stops."

But Jongdae kneels down to take Joonmyun's hands in his. "You're going to catch pneumonia if you stay like this, let me tell Hakyeon I'm timing out early so I can take care of my boyfriend."

He lifts Joonmyun's hands up to his lips and breathes across them in an attempt to warm them up. But Joonmyun's hands are still icy cold. Jongdae's eyes are sad when he pulls Joonmyun up to his feet and slips away to the backroom to sign out. 

He comes back with an umbrella and pulls Joonmyun close to his side before pushing the door open to face the hurricane outside. Jongdae unzips his hoodie and pulls it around Joonmyun so that their sides are pressed together. 

"I'm already wet!" Joonmyun shouts over the downpour as Jongdae pulls him along. 

"I need to keep you warm!" Jongdae shouts back. 

But Joonmyun is still freezing, and he's only succeeded in making Jongdae wet as well. Soon, they arrive in front of a tall apartment building. Jongdae shakes off his umbrella and swipes his card to enter. 

He leads Joonmyun by the hand up a couple flights of stairs. He fumbles for his keyring with trembling fingers until he's finally managed to open the door. He pushes Joonmyun into his sofa and makes a beeline for his bathroom. 

"You can take a shower, Joonmyun," he says as he brings back a fluffy pink towel to wrap Joonmyun in. "I'll find you some clothes. Do you want to stay the night?"

Joonmyun sputters something incoherent about a second date, and Jongdae laughs as he steers him towards the bathroom. "It's okay, this can count as our second date. Oh, and we can have that Tchaikovsky night you promised!"

The rush of warm water is soothing against Joonmyun's frigid skin, and he finds himself relaxing instantly. But after a few minutes, the bathroom door opens, and he yelps in surprise, almost slipping in the process. 

"Hey, it's okay! It's just me," Jongdae calls out. "I just brought you some clothes, okay? I'm going to put them on the towel rack."

The clothes end up being a pair of flannel pants with the university's name printed across the leg, a tshirt that also has the logo printed across the chest, and a pair of boxers decorated with the mascot. Clearly Jongdae intends for Joonmyun to stay the night, regardless. 

Joonmyun towels off his hair and wanders over to the kitchenette, where Jongdae is cooking something on the stove. 

"Hey, um, thanks for the clothes," he says.

"No problem! I'm just making you soup...It's canned, I hope you don't mind," Jongdae admits a little sheepishly. 

"I would have done the same," Joonmyun laughs, leaning against the sink. 

"Wait, watch this for me for a second, okay? Let me get you something."

Jongdae hurries away, and Joonmyun steps over to the stove and peers into the saucepan, letting the fragrant steam waft into his face. 

When Jongdae comes back, he has a thick microfleece blanket in hand with the university logo printed across the fabric. 

"I love spirit wear, if you couldn't tell already," he says as he wraps the blanket around Joonmyun in a warm, cozy cocoon. 

He all but feeds the soup to Joonmyun, who insists on holding his own spoon. After Joonmyun has finished his soup, he sits in silence, fiddling with his spoon.

"Okay," Jongdae says, setting down his own spoon. "I can tell you're dying to know, so go ahead and ask."

"Um, why did you and Yifan break up?"

Apparently this wasn't the question Jongdae had expected, because his eyes widen in surprise. "He...wasn't really interested in me, and I could tell."

"Oh, um. I'm sorry to hear that..."

"No, it's fine. I mean, he called me by the wrong name for one thing. He kept calling me 'Chan' by accident... What was even worse was how he tried to pass it off as giving me the nickname 'Chen', which means something in Chinese, I don't know."

"That sounds like a very...Yifan thing to do."

Jongdae chuckles. "Right? I was honestly getting sick of him and Chanyeol eyefucking during rehearsals... But now I have something better to watch...you."

He leans across the table to tap Joonmyun on the nose, who swats his hand away and giggles, "You're the worst."

"That would be Yifan," Jongdae corrects. "Anyways, I have to admit that wasn't exactly the question I thought you were going to ask."

"Oh." Joonmyun sinks into his seat a bit sheepishly. He can't tell what Jongdae was actually thinking of, because his own question was all that had been on his mind over the past few days. 

"What I thought you were going to ask," Jongdae continues, "was why I live here, by the main campus."

"Oh. That." It had definitely been convenient that Jongdae lived only a block over from the comic book store, but Joonmyun hadn't given it much thought. "Yeah, why do you live so far from the conservatory?"

"Good question," Jongdae grins. "It's because the main campus is halfway between the music school and the medical campus, as you know already, and I spend about an equal amount of time among the three."

"...That explains a lot... Like why I never see you around the conservatory besides orchestra and chamber," Joonmyun says half accusingly. 

"Yeah," Jongdae agrees. "I'm a behavioral biology and music double major, and I'm doing the premed track, so I'm kind of all over the place."

"Are you trying to impress me or something?" Joonmyun jokes, even though he is sincerely impressed and a little intimidated. 

"You're the only one I want to impress," Jongdae says teasingly. 

"Seriously though, how do you find time to do all of that?" Joonmyun asks, genuinely curious. 

"Well, a lot of the courses I take fulfill both bio and premed requirements, it's pretty nice. As for the music, I hope you don't think I'm being cocky when I say that I'm a lot better than most people, even though i practice a whole lot less."

"Like...how much less?"

"I practice an hour each week, right before my lesson," Jongdae admits. 

"That's...incredible."

"Maybe," Jongdae shrugs dismissively. "You know what else is really incredible, though? My stereo system, let me show you!"

He puts their tableware and silverware into the sink and leads Joonmyun to his bedroom, pushing him onto his mattress. 

"So, Tchaik, right? What are you in the mood for?" Jongdae asks, thumbing through his iPod library. 

"Surprise me?"

"Alright, let's see if you can guess and identify which pieces I picked."

Joonmyun scoffs. "Don't insult me."

Jongdae grins and crawls into bed next to Joonmyun, tugging on the blanket so he can pull it over them both. 

The first piece is the first movement of the fourth symphony, which Joonmyun recognizes instantly by the iconic brass line in the opening measures. When Joonmyun closes his eyes halfway through the piece, he receives a sharp nudge in the ribs from Jongdae. 

"That hurt!" he yelps. 

"You were falling alseep!" Jongdae complains. 

"No, I wasn't!" Joonmyun protests. 

"Fine." But Jongdae is still peering at him with narrowed eyes. "This next one should keep you awake though..." 

"Ah, yes," Joonmyun murmurs as he hears the opening string quartet in the 1812 Festival Overture. 

Both Joonmyun and Jongdae start giggling when they hear the cannon shots in the finale. 

"Remember when Baekhyun helped us out with this piece when we played it at our freshman spring concert?" Joonmyun asks, his head resting on Jongdae's shoulder. 

"Yeah, his only job was to press the button for the cannon shot noise, and he missed his cue. What a loser," Jongdae laughs. "Good thing Jinki seemed to like him for some reason, or else he wouldn't have gotten the manager gig."

"Jinki? As in Dr. Lee Jinki?"

"Yep! He's super cool, for a professor. I walk his dogs sometimes, and he invites me for dinner occasionally!"

Joonmyun's a little bit in awe of the fact that Jongdae is on a first name basis with such a renowned professor as their orchestra conductor, but he's quickly distracted by the beginning of the next piece. 

"I have to admit," Jongdae says with a hint of embarrassment, "this is one of my favorite pieces. Don't judge me."

Joonmyun almost bursts out laughing when he recognizes the opening clarinet solo. 

"Romeo and Juliet Overture-Fantasy? Seriously?" he asks incredulously. 

"Hey! I told you not to judge me. It's one of the first orchestra pieces I ever played, alright? It holds a special place in my heart. I remember being so scared and intimidated when we played through it at my first rehearsal ever." He chuckles nostalgically. When the main love melody comes on, he leans in towards the stereo speakers and nods fondly. 

It was one of the first pieces Joonmyun had ever performed with his youth orchestra, as well. It doesn't hold such fond memories with him, though. Although the delicate chords are absolutely gorgeous when played well, Joonmyun's perfect pitch made playing Romeo and Juliet with a bunch of high school students absolute hell. 

But Jongdae seems eager to give a play by play of the entire piece. 

"You see, I loved playing it so much that I wrote an essay for a high school English class analyzing how the music corresponds to the story of Romeo and Juliet. Like the clarinet solo at the beginning, for example, was Friar Laurence," Jongdae gushes. "And this next part coming up is a sword fight."

Joonmyun is already familiar with both the piece and the play, but he indulges Jongdae, letting him explain every change of scene. When they reach one of the last iterations of the swooping love melody, Joonmyun politely asks, "What's this part?"

"This," Jongdae answers with a twinkle in his eye, "is when Romeo and Juliet make out."

Before Joonmyun can even fully process Jongdae's words, he feels soft lips pressing against his. Jongdae kisses him slowly, open-mouthed, and Joonmyun's heart soars with the melody. Their breaths are staccato, short and shallow over the low murmur of the strings, and then Jongdae grinds down onto Joonmyun as the music rolls and crescendos to a climax. Soon, the recording ends, and the only music left is their ragged breathing. 

Jongdae pulls the blanket aside and crawls in between Joonmyun's legs. Joonmyun watches as Jongdae slips his fingers into the waistband of the borrowed pajama pants and tugs down. 

"What are you doing," he breathes. 

"Whatever I want, they're my pants," Jongdae responds with a smirk. 

Jongdae's fingertips are rough and calloused against the smoothness of Joonmyun's inner thighs. But his lips are soft and velvety as he presses kisses into Joonmyun's pale skin. His tongue is warm and slick, trailing up Joonmyun's thigh and teasing at the head of his cock. He tries not to buck forward when Jongdae swallows him whole.

He buries his face into the pillow while reaching for Jongdae's hand, who slots their fingers together and chuckles, sending vibrations straight into Joonmyun's cock. Jongdae pulls away, and Joonmyun moans, fisting the sleeve of Jongdae's shirt with his other hand. 

"Let go," Jongdae laughs, and Joonmyun does so reluctantly, watching while Jongdae undresses himself. 

Jongdae crawls back into bed next to Joonmyun, whose back is pressed against the wall. He parts his lips, eagerly meeting Jongdae's. With one hand curled around Joonmyun's neck, he reaches his other hand down to jerk Joonmyun off with slow, languid motions. Joonmyun whines into his mouth and reaches down to fist Jongdae's cock with quick, insistent tugs. 

"Alright, I get the idea," Jongdae murmurs against Joonmyun's lips, picking up his own pace. 

They moan into each others' mouths as they come into each others' fists. 

Snuggling closer to Joonmyun, Jongdae hums happily and presses kisses across his neck and collarbone. But Joonmyun just groans, "I'm gonna need another shower."

"Let's save some time and do it together," Jongdae suggests happily. 

 

Jongdae holds Joonmyun captive for the entirety of the weekend, only reluctantly letting him go in the evening so he can prepare for the week ahead. He lavishes Joonmyun with kisses before he leaves Jongdae's apartment. But then he sucks on Joonmyun's neck and lets go with a lewd smack, leaving a bright red mark in his wake. 

"What the hell, Jongdae!" Joonmyun protests, rubbing at his neck. 

"Just tell people you got it from practicing too hard," Jongdae laughs. 

Joonmyun grumbles under his breath as Jongdae presses one final kiss to the back of Joonmyun's hand.

"Goodbye, my love," he says with a cheesy wink. 

 

Somehow, Luhan's hawk-like sense of vision enables him to hunt Joonmyun down as soon as he enters the lobby outside the rehearsal hall. 

“What the hell, man, you’ve been MIA all weekend- whoa, is that a hickey?!”

“I was practicing viola,” Joonmyun mumbles, rubbing self-consciously at his neck.

“Not with that side of your neck!” Luhan points out with a cackle. 

Joonmyun shoots a look of betrayal towards Jongdae, who is leaning backwards with laughter from across the lobby. As if the hickey wasn’t territorial enough, Jongdae strolls over to Joonmyun, wrapping his arm around him.

“Let’s go inside and warm up,” he suggests, nibbling playfully at Joonmyun’s ear.

“GOODBYE,” Luhan announces loudly, looking for other friends to harass.

“Warming up” consists of Joonmyun unpacking his instrument and finding his seat, with Jongdae following him around the empty room, inconveniently draping himself across Joonmyun at any given chance. Joonmyun finally gives up on trying to practice his scales when Jongdae actually manages to worm his way into Joonmyun’s lap. 

“What’s your favorite movement from the Holst Planets Suite?” Jongdae asks, fiddling with Joonmyun’s hair.

“Um, Jupiter?” 

“Oh. Mine’s Uranus,” Jongdae says conversationally.

There is a loud cough from the doorway. Baekhyun is standing there, holding a plain brown paper bag. He strides across the rehearsal room, purposely avoiding eye contact, until he reaches the harp, which is set up behind the cello section. He carefully places the bag on the stool by the harp.

“Rehearsal begins in fifteen minutes,” he announces before slipping out the door.

“Is it just me or does Baekhyun look shiftier than usual today?” Jongdae asks absentmindedly.

“What do you think was in that bag?”

“Cupcakes,” Joonmyun says at the same time Jongdae says, “Drugs?”

“You’re so cute,” Jongdae laughs, tickling Joonmyun under the chin.

Jongdae reluctantly peels himself away from Joonmyun as other students begin shuffling into the rehearsal room. Jongdae discreetly motions for Joonmyun to turn around and watch as Zitao, the harpist, makes his way to his seat. 

When Zitao finds the brown paper bag on his stool, he looks around and then pulls out the contents, which are a stack of Wonder Woman comic books. Joonmyun almost bursts out laughing, but the look of glee on Zitao’s face is too precious. The harpist pulls out a card from the bag and reads it eagerly, a bright smile lighting up his face. He even jumps a little in delight. Meanwhile, Baekhyun is leaning against the wall, across the room, failing to hide his pleased grin beneath his hand. 

Joonmyun glances back over at Jongdae, who is looking at Baekhyun while shaking his head and smiling. 

Rehearsal at this point is almost redundant, as the orchestra has virtually mastered the repertoire. But Joonmyun still looks forward to watching Jongdae play his concerto and witnessing Minseok dozing off throughout the rehearsal. 

After orchestra and chamber music, Jongdae forces Joonmyun onto a bus so they can spend the rest of the evening walking along the city harbor. A velvety dusk falls over the sky, and Joonmyun and Jongdae sit at the edge of the harbor, dangling their legs above the water. 

"I'm glad they didn't put a fence around the harbor," Jongdae says, playing with Joonmyun's fingers. "The water is so beautiful, especially at night. And besides, people are smart enough not to fall i-"

But he is interrupted when Joonmyun lets go of his hand to shift his weight, somehow managing to slip in the process, landing in the water with a splash. 

"Are you fucking serious," Jongdae says. 

"Help," Joonmyun cries, treading the water below. 

A nearby water taxi courteously fishes Joonmyun out of the water, although everyone on the boat appears to be laughing at his misfortune. But Joonmyun can't complain when Jongdae sighs and takes Joonmyun back to his apartment, offering him a shower and a place to stay for the night. 

"You know," Jongdae begins as he helps Joonmyun towel off his hair. "I'm starting to think that this whole getting wet thing is just a ruse for you to get into my bed."

Joonmyun just grins and bats his eyelashes at Jongdae, who ruffles Joonmyun's hair one last time and swats him with the towel. 

More often than not, Joonmyun wakes up alone. Jongdae's affinity for morning classes, as well his internship and volunteer job at the hospital have him hitting the ground running every morning before Joonmyun even manages to blink himself awake. But the mornings they do spend together are Joonmyun's favorite. 

Except for one morning in which Joonmyun wakes up alone in his own bed. The evening before, they had visited a local art gallery and parted ways at a bus stop. But Joonmyun nearly has a heart attack when he finds Jongdae reclining on his couch in the morning, playing a game on his phone. 

"Good morning, sunshine," Jongdae greets him with a grin entirely too bright for 7 am. 

Joonmyun is still clutching at his palpitating heart when Jongdae escorts him to the tiny dining table, pushing a steaming mug of coffee towards him. 

"I brought you donuts, too!" he chirps. 

"How did you get in here," Joonmyun finally manages to gasp. 

"A thank you would be nice," Jongdae frowns. "And for your information, Luhan was kind enough to hand over the key to your apartment since you never offered one to me."

"Fuck Luhan," Joonmyun grumbles under his breath. 

"Excuse me," Jongdae snaps. "I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that. I can see that someone isn't a morning person. Eat a donut and cheer up, mister."

He opens the large white cardboard box on the table, revealing rows and rows of donuts, from rainbow sprinkles to jelly and cream filled.

"I only got a few to begin with, but they told me that I could get a dozen for a dollar more. And then they told me I could get another dozen for one more dollar on top of that," Jongdae explains. 

Joonmyun hesitantly nibbles at a chocolate glazed donut and then wolfs it down when he realizes how delicious it is. He somehow manages to also finish off a powdered sugar, a Boston cream pie, a maple glazed, a cinnamon sugar, and a rainbow sprinkled donut as well. He's reaching for a jelly filled donut when Jongdae closes the lid of the box with a nervous chuckle. 

"As much as I love seeing you eat, I don't want to see you throw up later. Let's bring the rest to Hakyeon and the crew, alright? Did you ever schedule that interview with him?"

"Not yet," Joonmyun admits sheepishly. "I still have to quit my old job, too."

"We can stop by the sandwich place then!"

Joonmyun knows there's no use trying to negotiate with Jongdae. Thankfully, quitting his old job isn't as awkward as Joonmyun had feared. The transition into his new job goes a lot more smoothly than expected, as well. 

In fact, as soon as Jongdae reveals that they arrive bearing gifts, Hakyeon hires Joonmyun on the spot. Joonmyun sends Jongdae and confused glance, but Jongdae mouths at him to, "just go with it."

Strangely, Joonmyun is never scheduled to share a shift with Jongdae. He works with Hakyeon his first few days to learn the ropes, and then he's slowly introduced to the rest of the staff. 

Sanghyuk is a sweet first year with a surprisingly hysterical fanboy streak. Wonshik is mostly laidback, except when it comes to the DC versus Marvel debate, and Jaewhan is somehow even more bizarre than Hakyeon. Taekwoon intimidates Joonmyun at first with his perpetually stony expression and stoic silence, but soon Joonmyun discovers that the tight lipped giant is actually an oversized toddler. It's kind of endearing. 

 

Because of Jongdae's schedule and his relatively infrequent trips to the music campus, Joonmyun rarely sees him around the conservatory other than for orchestra and chamber music. But they try to coordinate dates as often as they can. Sometimes Joonmyun receives phone calls from Jongdae asking him to come over because he's lonely or he needs a distraction. Joonmyun is usually happy to oblige, unless he's in the middle of practicing. In that case, he knows better than to even pick up his phone so he doesn't bite anyone's head off by accident. 

Joonmyun has never received that kind of phone call from Jongdae past midnight, though. But at about two in the morning, Joonmyun's phone goes off, and it's the ringtone assigned to Jongdae's contact, the main love melody from Tchaikovsky's Romeo and Juliet. 

"Hello?" Joonmyun grumbles. He had already been in the light stages of sleep before Jongdae had called. 

"Come over..." Jongdae's voice is low and hoarse. "I need you... Please."

This snaps Joonmyun awake. He hasn't ever heard Jongdae sound so...desperate. He reluctantly tugs his covers away and rolls out of bed. He pulls on a pair of sweatpants over his boxers and a tshirt, all while wondering why he can never seem to say no to his boyfriend. 

He's the only person at the bus stop, but thankfully the bus runs until three am, so he manages to catch one of its last trips between campuses. Jongdae's apartment is a familiar location, so Joonmyun is easily able to find it, even in the middle of the night. For some reason, the door is unlocked. 

Joonmyun knocks quietly before pushing it open. There are no lights on inside. He reaches for his phone as he flicks the light switch on, ready to call the police if necessary. 

But when soft, yellow light floods into the apartment, a lump on the sofa groans loudly. It's Jongdae, who resembles a boneless mass of medical scrubs more than an actual human being. 

"So tired..." he moans. "So hungry... Can't move... Hurts too much..."

"What do you want me to do?" Joonmyun inquires, his heart seizing up at the sight of Jongdae sprawled across the sofa in such pain. 

"Food... Fridge... Look..."

Jongdae's fridge is almost bare, so he checks the freezer, as well, but that too holds little promise. 

"There are frozen chicken nuggets," Joonmyun suggests. 

"Yes, good, go."

Joonmyun follows the instructions on the box to bake the dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets. While they're in the oven, Joonmyun sits on the edge of the sofa and cards his fingers through Jongdae's hair. 

"Are you alright?" he asks with concern. 

"Unnnnhhh," Jongdae mumbles in response. "...I'm dying..."

"Jongdae, you're going to be okay. I'm here for you, yeah?"

Jongdae just makes another incoherent grunt, but he leans slightly more into Joonmyun's touch. 

When the chicken nuggets are finished baking, Joonmyun sits on the floor with a plate in his lap and a cup of water with a straw so he can feed Jongdae without making him get up. Crumbs and splashes of water get onto the sofa, but Joonmyun figures he can take care of that later. 

Afterwards Joonmyun somehow manages to splash water on himself when he's washing the plate. He yelps, and Jongdae groans from sofa, "Just rinse it off with water..."

"It's okay, I was going to wash my face again anyways," Joonmyun calls back. 

"I was talking about the plate, not you."

Joonmyun huffs, and Jongdae moans some more. "I'm so tired. I want to sleep. But I need a shower unnngggh." He considers for a moment. "I could sleep in the shower."

Joonmyun takes pity on his boyfriend and helps him shower. Jongdae can't move his limbs, apparently, so Joonmyun ends up half-carrying him from the sofa to the bathroom. 

"You could at least undress yourself," Joonmyun complains, but Jongdae just mumbles something inaudible into Joonmyun's shoulder. Jongdae keeps his chin tucked on Joonmyun's shoulder, only lifting it when Joonmyun tugs their shirts off. He pulls them into the shower, and Jongdae hums contentedly when the warm stream of water hits his aching muscles. 

As Joonmyun massages shampoo into his boyfriend's scalp, Jongdae reaches around to pinch Joonmyun's ass. "You have a cute butt, Joonmyun," he yawns. 

"Okay, we need to get you into bed ASAP," Joonmyun announces. He quickly lathers Jongdae all over with soap and helps him rinse off. After turning off the tap, Joonmyun reaches from behind the shower curtain to grab a towel to wrap Jongdae in. Then he finds one to wrap around himself and helps pat Jongdae dry. 

He lugs Jongdae over to the bed and fishes through his drawers for boxers. But Jongdae is apparently fine with sleeping commando, since he whines for Joonmyun to stop looking and get into bed with him. 

"There was an accident on I-97 today,” Jongdae mumbles into Joonmyun's bare chest. "I helped transport patients from ER to surgery and to the orthopedic ward. I didn't have to stay so late, but you know..." He yawns. "I don't know how doctors and nurses do it, I was only there for ten hours, but I feel like I'm half dead."

"You'll get there, I believe in you," Joonmyun mumbles, pressing a kiss to the top of Jongdae's head, but he's already fast asleep. Joonmyun falls asleep to the sound of Jongdae's steady breathing and the warmth of bare skin pressed against bare skin. 

 

Before Joonmyun even realizes it, an entire season has passed, and the vibrant reds and oranges of fall are replaced by the bleak bareness of winter. But the chill in the air and the gray skies hold promise of snowfall just around the corner. 

Apparently nobody in the city knows how to drive in the snow, because classes are canceled at the first dusting of white power across the campus greens. 

Jongdae still meets Joonmyun outside of the main entrance of the conservatory building, but there's a small crowd congregated around Sehun, the first year oboe player. He's from some island of eternal summer and has never seen snow before apparently, because he's jumping around with his hands extended towards the sky, his mouth stretched wide open in awe and amazement. 

Several people have their phones out recording Sehun as though he is a baby taking his first steps. The sheer joy and innocent wonder in his eyes make the usually stony faced youth appear like an oversized infant. But Sehun almost slips off the curb of the sidewalk, and he would have crashed into the concrete if a strong hand hadn't reached out to catch him just in time. 

Yixing, who had saved the poor freshman from a face full of concrete, suddenly finds long, tapered fingers cradling his face, and then Sehun is swooping in to join their lips in a kiss. But the older boy breaks away just as suddenly with a surprised expression on his face. Before Sehun can stammer out an apology, Yixing breaks into a grin and pulls him back in for another kiss. Amidst the hoots and the cheers, Yixing almost misses Sehun's shy whisper of, "My first snow and my first kiss."

Snowflakes stick to Joonmyun's eyelashes as Jongdae leans in for a shivery kiss. It's their first kiss in the snow, and it's as cheesy and perfect as Joonmyun had imagined. 

Aside from the excitement of the snow, there are application deadlines, final exams, and jury recitals looming over Joonmyun. After Jongdae leaves for his shift at the comic book store, Joonmyun spends a few hours in the practice room vigorously rehearsing his recital pieces. In the late afternoon, Jongdae returns to the music campus and finds Joonmyun hunched over a desk with stacks of thick reference books and antiquated music scores scattered around him. 

He taps Joonmyun on the shoulder, who looks up and pulls his earbuds out. 

"You're sulking."

"What? No, I'm not. I'm just studying," Joonmyun says. 

Jongdae picks up Joonmyun's iPod and scoffs when he sees the song currently playing. "Moonlight Sonata? Sulking music."

Joonmyun crosses his arms defensively, and Jongdae's eyes soften as he gives his shoulders a squeeze. "Don't work yourself too hard, okay? You're so smart, and you're so talented, and you don't need to stress yourself out so much."

He tilts Joonmyun's chin up and meets him with a kiss. 

"See you at my place tonight?" Jongdae asks hopefully. 

"I'll try," Joonmyun promises. 

But Joonmyun has a tendency to lose track of time when he's a certain level of focused, so it's well past midnight by the time he remembers that he was supposed to meet Jongdae that evening. He's the only one left in the library by the time he leaves. He checks his phone while waiting at the bus stop, and it's filled with increasingly worried texts from Jongdae asking if he's alright and if he's still coming over that night. The last text is a grumpy goodnight message because Jongdae is tired of waiting. 

Joonmyun is in the middle of typing a message back assuring Jongdae that he's on the way, when Joonmyun feels a cool strip of metal pressed against his cheek. He's surprisingly calm as he slowly lowers his phone, the bright screen casting an eerie glow in the darkness. 

"Drop the phone," a low, unfamiliar voice growls. 

Joonmyun obeys silently, letting his smartphone fall with a gentle thud into the snow. The gun is still pressed to his back as the man bends down to pick it up. And then the pressure is lifted when the man makes a dash for it, his heavy footsteps disappearing in the distance. 

Taking a breath for the first time since the beginning of the encounter, Joonmyun staggers over to the nearest public phone to dial campus security. He calmly explains what had happened and tries not to hyperventilate after hanging up. Within a couple minutes, a police car pulls up to the curb, and Joonmyun climbs in. 

By the time he finishes filing the crime report, it's past three in the morning, and Joonmyun wouldn't be able to take a bus to Jongdae's apartment even if he wanted to. Luckily, a police officer offers to escort Joonmyun across the city to the other campus. 

He keys his way into the apartment and finds Jongdae fast asleep on the couch. Joonmyun tries to gently carry him to the bedroom, but ends up rattling him awake. 

"Hey, it's okay, it's just me," Joonmyun murmurs soothingly. 

"Where have you been...asshole..." Jongdae grumbles sleepily. 

"Lost track of time, sorry," Joonmyun apologizes. "Kind of got mugged along the way."

"What?" Jongdae whispers, jolted fully awake by Joonmyun's words. 

"It's alright, he only took my phone."

"Are you okay?" Jongdae asks in horror. "Are you hurt? Did you file a police report?"

"It's fine, like I said, I'm fine. Come on, let's get you into bed-"

Joonmyun stumbles back when Jongdae launches himself at him, almost knocking him backwards with the force of the impact. 

"You fucking idiot," Jongdae sobs into Joonmyun's neck, his arms wrapped around him in a death grip. "I will kill you if you die doing something stupid."

Joonmyun laughs, patting Jongdae on the back, but Jongdae just holds on even tighter and doesn't let go for the rest of the night. 

 

The one thing Joonmyun is looking forward to most as the end of the semester draws to a close is the winter orchestra concert. After a week of solo recitals (Jongdae's performance hall was packed with attendees, and even Joonmyun's was surprisingly crowded) and chamber recitals (their quartet received a standing ovation), the orchestra concert is the last major event before final exams. 

Even though they had been practicing the same few pieces for months, performing for an audience in the largest, most ornate performing hall on campus is an entirely different experience. Sweat trickles down the back of Joonmyun's neck from playing so vigorously under the blinding heat of the stage lights. But he still gets chills every time the orchestra executes a particularly powerful chord or melody. 

And then Jongdae is striding across the stage, all sleek lines and sharp angles in his slim fitting tuxedo. The excitement and tension in the air is palpable, but Joonmyun is sure that Jongdae's face betrays none of his nerves, even though he is facing the audience. 

Like the first time Jongdae had played the concerto with the entire orchestra, the moment before his cadenza is quiet enough to hear a pin drop. And then Jongdae is ripping through the cadenza with innate finesse, as though his violin is an extension of his body and the music is his breath of life. 

As expected, Jongdae's triumphant finale in the final movement is applauded with a standing ovation, and the audience members are still on their feet, cheering and screaming even after Jongdae retreats backstage. He returns to the stage to even more enthusiastic applause and acknowledges the orchestra and Dr. Lee Jinki with a sweep of his arm and a ninety degree bow in the conductor's direction. The third time Jongdae returns to the stage, a hush falls over the audience in anticipation of the violinist's encore. 

Jongdae glides across the serene melody of the Thaïs Meditation with an easy grace, and Joonmyun can't help but grin when he looks up and sees the conductor's blissful smile. 

During the intermission, there's a crowd that immediately gathers around Jongdae to congratulate him on giving a perfect performance. But when the soloist sees Joonmyun lingering by the corner of the backstage dressing room, too shy to approach the crowd, Jongdae politely shoves through the mass of people to glue himself to his boyfriend's side. 

"You were...a-amazing, Jongdae," Joonmyun stutters, still a little starstruck even after all this time. 

"That's all I needed to hear," Jongdae grins, pushing Joonmyun against the wall. He kisses Joonmyun greedily, still on an adrenaline high from his performance. Jongdae slips his hands under Joonmyun's tuxedo jacket to press his thumbs into the sharp jut of Joonmyun's hip bones. 

But Joonmyun pulls away, whining, "Don't wrinkle my tux before the concert is over."

"Fine, but afterwards..." Joonmyun isn't sure whether he hears a promise or a threat in Jongdae's voice. 

The Tchaikovsky symphony is as viscerally powerful and emotionally profound as Joonmyun had ever heard it performed, but it's an even more moving experience being onstage, a part of the music. 

Joonmyun loses track of time during the final standing ovation of the evening, but he knows it lasted long enough for him to meet Jongdae's eyes several times. He gets an even bubblier surge of excitement when Dr. Lee extends a hand towards Joonmyun so he can receive the conductor's congratulations on behalf of his section. 

After the concert, the musicians all flock to the 24 hour diner for late night cheeseburgers and ice cream. Jongdae finally manages to convince Joonmyun to share a sundae with him, but only on the condition that a scoop of spinach ice cream is included, which Joonmyun cajoles Jongdae into tasting. 

"If you can swallow cum, you can try spinach ice cream," Joonmyun insists. 

But even after a reluctant spoonful, Jongdae isn't quite sold on the idea of vegetable ice cream. 

As Jongdae had promised, the night ends with a pile of crumpled tuxedos on the floor of Joonmyun's apartment. Joonmyun is completely spent, but happy and exhilarated from the extended adrenaline rush. Finals are next week, but his graduate school applications have been submitted, so Jongdae is the only thing he has the capacity to care about at this point. 

Winter break is by far the laziest, most blissful few weeks of Joonmyun's senior year. Most of it is spent either at his own apartment or at Jongdae's, with convenience store runs or the occasional date night out in between. Although Joonmyun would have been content with pizza, Netflix, and Jongdae for the duration of the break, he is dragged along to an amusement park about an hour's taxi ride away from campus. 

"It'll be fun!" Jongdae promises. "And the Christmas lights are gorgeous at night."

To Jongdae's disappointment, the major rollercoasters are closed for the winter season, but Joonmyun is content with the less intense rides, like the merry go round and the Ferris wheel. 

At the bumper cars, Joonmyun accidentally crashes backwards into Jongdae's vehicle when he loses control of his own car. Jongdae makes it his goal for the duration of the ride to slam into Joonmyun's car by any means possible in revenge. He even goes as far as to turn his car around against the flow of traffic to hit Joonmyun's car head-on until he receives angry shouts from the ride operator. 

Afterwards, Jongdae snuggles against Joonmyun as they walk towards the food court, all signs of the prior aggression gone. 

"Your cheeks are so pink," Jongdae giggles as he hands Joonmyun a bucket of kettle corn. Joonmyun tries to hide his flushed skin by pulling his scarf up higher, but Jongdae assures him, "It's cute. You're cute."

That's not something Joonmyun can complain about, so he happily shoves a handful of the kettle corn into his mouth as Jongdae kisses him on the cheek. 

As they pass through the games section of the park, Jongdae immediately gravitates towards the Test Your Strength booth. The first time he strikes the apparatus, the marker goes up about halfway up the scale. But then he swings down the hammer with full force, and the marker shoots straight to the top, causing the bell to clang in victory. The operator hands Jongdae the grand prize, a giant puppy plushie with star shaped sunglasses. He immediately gives it to Joonmyun, who decides to name it Byul. 

Joonmyun proudly totes Byul around for the remainder of their stay at the amusement park and gives the plushie a special place by his bed when he returns home. Even when Jongdae isn't around, he'll have Byul for comfort and a soft hug when needed. Byul smells like kettle corn and hot chocolate, a nostalgic reminder of the special day he shared with Jongdae. 

 

Before he knows it, winter thaws into spring, and the new semester begins. Which means new repertoire and new chamber groups, much to the excitement of the orchestra students. Appropriately for spring, Dr. Lee's selections for the final concert of the year are Debussy's Afternoon of a Faun, Gounod's Faust ballet, and Beethoven's Eroica Symphony. Although some of the other chamber groups are shuffled around, Joonmyun remains in a group with Jongdae, Jongin, and Kyungsoo. They are assigned Ravel’s String Quartet in F major, an ethereally romantic Impressionistic piece. At Jongin’s shy insistence, they also add Pachelbel’s Canon in D major to the quartet’s repertoire.

But for Joonmyun, the scariest part of spring comes a little later on in the semester: admissions decisions. 

It’s not something he’s talked about with Jongdae too much since the future, as well as the prospect of getting separated, is scary for both of them. However, Joonmyun isn’t the least bit surprised when Jongdae shows up at his apartment clutching a piece of paper, a broad grin taking up half his face.

“I did it,” he breathes. “I got into medical school.”

Wordlessly, Joonmyun reaches his arms out, and Jongdae hugs him tight and picks him up, spinning him around.

"I knew you could," Joonmyun says proudly, truthfully. "There was never a doubt in my mind. Which one did you get accepted to?"

"Here! I won't even have to move out of my apartment!"

Although remaining in the same campus and the same city is a perk of attending their university's own medical school, Joonmyun knows that the true benefits are much more profound. Jongdae would be attending the most prestigious medical school in the country, gaining residential experience from the best hospital. Jongdae's future is bright, Joonmyun knows this for sure. 

Jongdae laughs breathlessly and looks around Joonmyun's apartment. 

"What about you? Did your decision letter come in?"

Joonmyun nods, gesturing towards the table, where a plain white envelope with the university's seal rests. He's been too apprehensive to even touch it all day. 

"Hey, Joonmyun," Jongdae says soothingly, taking Joonmyun's hands in his. "I know that our university is your first choice, but wherever you end up going, I'm so proud of you no matter what. There's nothing to be afraid of, okay?"

With trembling fingers, Joonmyun picks up the envelope and gently tears back the white paper. He slowly unfolds the letter tucked inside. At the first glimpse of the word "Congratulations", Joonmyun covers his eyes with his hand and bites his lip, sinking to the floor. 

Jongdae rushes over and kneels down next to him, wrapping an arm around Joonmyun's shoulder. 

"It's okay, Joonmyun, it's okay, it's okay. I love you so much, everything's going to be okay..." he murmurs softly into Joonmyun's ear. 

Joonmyun tries to speak, but it just comes out as a whimper, so he passes the letter to Jongdae, trying to sniff back his tears. 

"Oh my god... Oh my god, Joonmyun! You did it, I know you could!" Jongdae squeals, squeezing Joonmyun in a suffocating embrace. "I'm so, so, so proud of you!"

They end up toppling over onto the floor, landing as a tangled mass of limbs. Jongdae laughs giddily and pulls them back up so he can give Joonmyun a proper kiss. 

"This is so perfect! You'll continue to study at the conservatory, and I'll be at the medical school... You can move in with me if you want, or we could get a bigger apartment together by the medical campus... And then you can get your doctorate and I'll get my medical degree and we can be Dr. Kim and Dr. Kim, and I can work at the hospital or open up my own clinic, and you can audition for the city symphony or teach at the conservatory or go into conducting..." Jongdae gushes excitedly. 

Joonmyun smiles shakily, wiping his tears away with his sleeve and squeezing Jongdae's hand. Jongdae's chestnut eyes are brilliant and sparkling with possibilities. 

"Aren't you getting a little bit ahead of yourself?" Joonmyun manages to choke out with his heart still in his throat. 

"It'll be perfect," Jongdae promises. "Just wait and see."


End file.
